Opening Day

Opening Day, that rite of spring whereupon the first baseball game was played, is a holiday in the Cincinnati area. Since the Cincinnati Red Stockings were the first professional baseball team, Major League baseball used to commemorate that tradition by having the now Cincinnati Reds play the first baseball game of the season. Until they sold out to television, which decided it preferable to play the first game during prime time on Sunday night before the “official” Opening Day. Cincinnati commemorates the day with a parade from Findlay Market, a party on Fountain Square, marching bands, and a baseball game that gets sold out in minutes to the scalpers, I mean, ticket resellers.

I don’t enjoy baseball much anymore. It’s not because my favorite teams, the aforementioned Cincinnati Reds and Pittsburgh Pirates are so darn lousy. Baseball was always so rich in tradition with strong appeal and connection to the fans. Much of that has been lost on me for quite some time now. Escalating ticket prices, poor pitching, spoiled players, as well as prevalence of performance-altering chemicals cause me to look elsewhere for my entertainment.

However, it is Opening Day of a new season. It’s spring and “hope springs eternal” (Alexander Pope). Winter is over, the smell of spring is in the air! The Reds will get some pitching this year. The team won’t be out of the division race by June.

At the time of posting of this article, the score was Diamondbacks 4 - Reds 4.  Middle of the 7th.

Bumper Sticker

Seen on the rear bumper of some vehicle on the commute home this evening. Note: blogger rendition of actual image.

Hell Crops Up Again

A recent article in The Washington Post on the crisis in the US financial markets ended with the following quote:

“Capitalism without losses is like religion without hell”

While it certainly makes sense that losses are a innate part of an economic system of capitalism, is it similarly true that hell is an innate part of religion?

Can people celebrate a religion without believing there’s a hell? Can people celebrate religion without believing in God?

It’s those questions that caught my attention considering the quote.

I’m going to try not to go into a long dissertation on my religious beliefs, which are steeped in liberal Judaism, with a smattering eastern philosophy, and an evolution towards the independence found in being involved in a Universalist Unitarian congregation.

My moral compass is driven from within, and not from the threat of the eternal damnation of a hell. Religion that imposes that threat of eternal punishment seems controlling and dogmatic, not supportive of the essential humanity of its participants.

World’s Biggest Lies

Back a few years, when I was younger and much less the mature and polished person I am today, we used to have a list called The World’s Biggest Lies. It was a humorous list, containing mostly items with a sexual connotation. For example, one item was the traditional, I’ll respect you in the morning.

Now that I’ve grown wiser in my old age, and actually write coherently in my own blog, I’m reminded of one other of the World’s Biggest Lies, along with a new addition, appropriate in this age of voice mail and depersonalization.

Without further ado, I present two of the many World’s Biggest Lies:

• We’re from the government, we’re here to help
• Your call is important to us.

Your comment is important to me, so please feel free to add to my short list of The World’s Biggest Lies.

Snow

It’s been a long week. On Tuesday, I made a rainy five hour drive to Pittsburgh, so that I could bring my son home from Carnegie Mellon later in the week. In Pittsburgh, I hopped a Southwest Airlines flight to Philadelphia to work on a database project. A colleague and I hammered out a rather complex data structure for a system we’re building, and on Thursday night, it was back on Southwest to Pittsburgh.

By the way, I can’t recommend the $10 beers nor the curt bartenders in the Philadelphia airport.

What does any of this have to do with snow?

The return trip from Pittsburgh of 300 miles, which normally takes 5 hours, took 9 hours. You see, dear reader, we drove into the jaws of the largest snowstorm in Ohio this year. Our driving speed was reduced to a maximum of 40 miles per hour, frequently moving at the rapid pace of 20 mph. In Zanesville, Ohio we spent over an hour in bumper to bumper traffic because I-70 was closed and we were routed onto National Road, US 40. The Ohio Highway Patrol reported over 610 accidents in that time period, we spotted at least 5 jack-knifed trucks, and cars spun out everywhere. Ironically one such truck was seen off the road right near the famous Hell is Real sign on Interstate 71 south of Columbus.

I drove the entire trip, given that my son just doesn’t have the experience yet in those dangerous conditions. We took frequent pit stops, mainly so that I might unwind from the stress of navigating skating rink quality, sweaty palm, hands tightly gripping the steering wheel, icy highways.

As I look out my window from the warmth of my favorite living room easy chair, I see snow. White everywhere. A snow covered yard and a snow filled sky. They say a blizzard is coming.

Quotable

“If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson

“If the fans don’t wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop ‘em.”
– Yogi Berra

“It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.”
– Harry S. Truman

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.”
– W.C. Fields

Burning Questions

Please excuse me for being redundant, full well knowing that I’ve asked these questions before. But indulge me, dear reader, as these questions, originally asked by Don McClean in American Pie, are truly of significance.

So here goes:

1. Did you write the book of love,
   And do you have faith in God above,
   If the Bible tells you so?
2. Do you believe in rock ’n roll,
3. Can music save your mortal soul,
4. And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Please respond below. Be sure to number your responses to correspond to the questions posed above.

Thank you.

Bye, bye, Miss American Pie.

Obama Wins Again

Democratic candidate Barack Obama has gained much momentum recently and on this Tuesday, won primary elections in the states of Hawaii and Wisconsin. Candidate Hillary Clinton is struggling a bit to keep up, and might be expected to make a major effort in my state of Ohio. Actually, she is already doing that; her campaign visited Cincinnati last week to order Skyline Chili from a store in Oakley, while our household has already received several phone calls right from the ex-First Lady herself. Recorded, of course.

It’s time for a change, and I believe the country is tired of Bush style divisiveness and arrogance. Our nation needs some new energy and leadership.

This is where Obama appeals to me. He is saying the right things, and apparently doing the right things that attract the voters of America.

The problem I have with Hillary is that she does not have this appeal. Although she appears to have some good ideas, I see her as an “insider” and more of the same old Washington. I’ll open my eyes and ears to what she has to say when the campaign road show come rolling through Ohio in the next weeks, but I’m going to need some convincing to cast my vote her way.

I can’t help wondering, however, what will happen come the Democratic National Convention this summer. What about an Obama-Clinton ticket?

What say you?

Irritating Language

Words and phrases that seem redundant, obtuse, marketing-speaking, or just plain stupid. Please feel welcome to add to my less than exhaustive list.

• Upcharge. In market-speak, apparently this means that we’re going to charge you more. Redundant. You pay more, the bill goes up.
• Back in the day. Modern way of saying “in the old days, when we were young.” My question: which day do we go back to? Monday? How about Tuesday?
• Gift. A word-saving verb that means to give a gift. Back in the day, we didn’t gift our friends and family, we gave them a nice present. I like the idea of giving.
• Regift. Another word-saving verb. Regifting is what people do when they are gifted with stuff they don’t like. Back in the day, we’d save these gifts for a rummage sale or yard sale.
• Ingathering. This is a big made up word at our church. In the fall, we have a service, ingathering everyone in the congregation from their summer travels. Redundant. How else does one gather? Outgather?

Hall of Fame

No! We’re not talking about the National Baseball Hall of Fame in beautiful Cooperstown, NY. Nor the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. Not even the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland.

No! The Hall of Fame we’re talking about is likely discovered only in the minds of a few people in Ohio. The Hall of Fame we’re talking about is the Ohio Tax Hall of Fame.

Yes! You read it correctly: The Ohio Tax Hall of Fame.

The Ohio Tax Hall of Fame is “created to acknowledge those people who have significantly contributed to the development, administration or operation of Ohio’s state tax system.”

Wow! Lofty goals.

I discovered this astounding Governmental Tribute from an article in Porkopolis, a blog for a Cincinnati alternative and excellent newspaper, CityBeat.

Isn’t this a great country we live in? Only in America, would we have an Ohio Tax Hall of Fame!