Grammatical Rules (Or Guide to Good Grammar)

Blogging is all about good grammar and language. So to provide a service to my fellow bloggers (and you know who you are), I offer the following for your thoughtful, but careful consideration.

Some of my readers are teachers. You know who you are. Please feel free to copy these rules for classroom distribution and/or use. You don’t have to pay me nuthin’

1. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
2. Just between you and I case is important.
3. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
4. Watch out for irregular verbs which have crope into our language.
5. Don’t use no double negatives.
6. A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.
7. When dangling, don’t use participles.
8. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
9. Don’t write a run-on sentence you have to punctuate it.
10. About sentence fragments.
11. In a letter themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
12. Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary.
13. Its very important that you use apostrophe’s right.
14. Don’t abbrev.
15. Check to see if you have any words out.
16. As far as incomplete constructions, they are wrong.
17. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
18. It is important to never ever under any circumstances split an infinitive.
19. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
20. The active voice is preferred.
21. Use of the passive voice is to be avoided.
22. Eschew obfuscation.
23. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

Bad Words

Here are three commonly used words that describe people. In my mind, they have a negative influence on the way we think about the folks we work with.

Consumer. Isn’t that a horrible word when used to describe people? How about something a little more respectful like customer? When I am a consumer, I am merely consuming goods and services in the same way that a car consumes gasoline, but as a customer I actively buy goods and services.

User. Being in the software development business, this word is used frequently to describe the good folks who work with (and purchase) our software, hardware, and technology products. In a previous life, I worked as a therapist in outpatient alcoholism and drug abuse treatment centers. User is what we called the people coming through our doors.

End User. Obviously a variant on user. Isn’t a bit redundant though to call a person an end user? If there is an end user, it would seem likely then, that somewhere there must be a beginning user.

Words like these depersonalize people, coloring the way some folks think about others. When we use language that accurately reflects who we do things for, it is more likely our software, customer service (think carefully about the meaning of those two words), and products will be designed to serve the “real people” who work with our stuff on a daily basis.

Those of you out there who are end users of my blog are welcome to comment. Being the consumers that you are, please suggest other words of the same genre.