It happens like clockwork every year about this time. About The Last Friday in April, Keeneland Race Course closes its doors on another fine spring racing meet and Churchill Downs opens for their Spring Meet. When that happens, racing fans everywhere know we’re close to The First Saturday in May. As I write this post, Derby Day is a mere eight days away.
As the week drags on, the media will descend on Churchill Downs for their annual horse racing frenzy. Many reporters will be disheartened to discover that if they’re going to get a story, they’ll have to roll out of bed in the dark to be out at the track by 5am when the horses work out.
For those writers who were out way too late the night before sipping that smooth and smoky Kentucky bourbon, one of the comments written by PapaChach over at Left at the Gate might help. He has built us a Mad-Lib type workout comment generator.
“[Insert horse’s name here] came out on to the track looking [use any or all of the following: “bright”, “alert”, “happy”, “friskier than a new-born Beagle”].
His coat was [choose one of the following: “dappled”, “shining like a new penny”, “exploding with equine majesty”].
He broke off around the [insert workout starting point here] and settled into a good gallop. Around the turn he [insert one of the following phrases here: “leveled off beautifully”, “put that magnificient head down and gobbled up ground effortlessly”].
[Insert exercise rider name here] sat chillier than a late autumn morn’ as [insert horse name here] motored home effortlessly through the stretch. [Rider name] had to wrangle with him [use one of the following: “like an Olympian Greco-Roman going for the gold”, “like Andre the Giant trying to take down Chief J Strongbow”] to get him to pull up down the backstretch.
When he came off the track he [“couldn’t have blown out a candle from three inches away”, “looked like he could have worked another mile in 1:33 flat”]. This is a horse who is [“really feeling his oats”, “looks like he could give Secretariat a run for his money”, “worked so good I wet my pants”] and he really could be sitting on a [“monster effort”, “the race of his life”]. With this work he must now be considered a serious threat come Saturday.”
Be sure to stay tuned to this blog for an upcoming interview with one of the actual competitors in this year’s Kentucky Derby. I promise you, it’ll be right from the horses mouth.