Email From Jesus

Within the last few minutes, folks, I received an email from Jesus. I can’t imagine it was from anyone other than that Jesus. I mean who else would dare to use that name? It’s gotta be copyrighted somewhere like The Vatican, wouldn’t you think?

Anyhow, the subject of my email from Jesus is “watch this prices”, only convincing me even more that it’s authentic, because we all know that Jesus came from Palestine and probably wasn’t all that facile in the English language. They did have English back in his days didn’t they? Of course they did.

By now, I’m sure you’re so darn curious about why Jesus might be sending me an email. Well, according to the email, Jesus has evolved quite a bit from preaching about doing the right thing, love your neighbor and all that do-gooder stuff. Apparently he has gone into sales, like the good Jewish boy that he is. And in this email, at least, he’s selling good drugs, well at least for us old guys:

  • Viagra
  • Viagra Soft Tabs
  • Cialis
  • Cialis Soft Tabs
  • Viagra Jelly (no peanut butter to go with it?)
  • Levitra

Wow! Great inventory! Probably good prices! Stuff to harden you up just when you really need it.

That’s all I know. But if you need that kind of stuff “when the time is right”, Jesus would seem like a reputable and reliable source. You really couldn’t go wrong. I just wish I could pass along his email in case you had a question or two to ask, but when I looked, it must not have been the right one. Someone probably stole his, poor guy.

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3 responses to “Email From Jesus

  1. I say unto you, “Lo!–it is risen again!” (Did I say that?)

  2. Well, you know it could be a Hispanic guy named Jesus….”Hay Zoos”.

  3. Although far be it for me to disparage anyone Hispanic, I prefer to believe, and that is the essential concept here, that this email was truly from the Jewish guy named Jesus.

    Now saying that Jesus was a Jewish guy is probably a shock for some of you fundies out there in the blogosphere, but that’s what I’ve read somewhere in the book edited by King James himself. It’s hard to believe sometimes, that even he wasn’t saved.

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