From The Rear View Mirror

I used to drive the freeways frequently on my morning commute to work, but for the past years that has been reduced to a ten minute drive to my office. During that thirty minute trip, I was frequently humored by what I saw in my rear view mirror, rolling down he highway at 70 miles an hour. Guys behind me staring in their mirror while shaving with a portable electric razor. Women applying mascara or other substances to their face. People combing or brushing their hair. Folks stuffing their faces with all sorts of fast food. Some reading a newspaper, magazine, or book. And of course, most yapping on the ubiquitous mobile phone.

One of the best appeared yesterday as I slowed for a traffic light on our busy local suburban four lane, stop light every tenth of a mile, highway. Being that I was in my Miata convertible with the top down, I had to restrain myself from laughing too loud or staring at this fine specimen of human behavior. Next to me is this female driver, head stuck out the window almost sideways, staring into the depths of her outside mirror. Talking loudly on her cell phone, which was cradled in her left shoulder, while using that mirror to fix her hair. How she was able to drive, I’ll never know.

While we’re on the topic of bad driver behavior, how about this familiar sight often seen on those same suburban roads? A large SUV or mini-van, the larger the better, slowly meandering down the road in the left lane. Clueless and holding up traffic behind them. Upon further review, we often discover the driver, excuse my lack of political correctness here, is female and once again yapping on that mobile telephone.

I’ve coined a term for this behavior and I call it fat butting. Fat butting refers to the posterior of the vehicle taking up so much room on the road, rather than the imagined potentially large posterior of the driver of that vehicle.

Fat butting.

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2 responses to “From The Rear View Mirror

  1. Yesterday, I got stuck behind some shmoe going 30 up the on-ramp to a highway where the speed limit is 65. Male this time but–you guessed it–yapping on the phone!

    Good luck with your son’s college send-off!

  2. I think SUV, minivan, and large pickup drivers are usually obnoxious, aggressive drivers, regardless of gender. I think they think they own the road because their vehicles are so huge. With men, it’s many times a case of “short man” syndrome — the shorter the guy, the bigger his vehicle is.

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