Grammatical Rules (Or Guide to Good Grammar)

Blogging is all about good grammar and language. So to provide a service to my fellow bloggers (and you know who you are), I offer the following for your thoughtful, but careful consideration.

Some of my readers are teachers. You know who you are. Please feel free to copy these rules for classroom distribution and/or use. You don’t have to pay me nuthin’

  1. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
  2. Just between you and I case is important.
  3. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  4. Watch out for irregular verbs which have crope into our language.
  5. Don’t use no double negatives.
  6. A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.
  7. When dangling, don’t use participles.
  8. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
  9. Don’t write a run-on sentence you have to punctuate it.
  10. About sentence fragments.
  11. In a letter themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
  12. Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary.
  13. Its very important that you use apostrophe’s right.
  14. Don’t abbrev.
  15. Check to see if you have any words out.
  16. As far as incomplete constructions, they are wrong.
  17. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
  18. It is important to never ever under any circumstances split an infinitive.
  19. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
  20. The active voice is preferred.
  21. Use of the passive voice is to be avoided.
  22. Eschew obfuscation.
  23. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
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6 responses to “Grammatical Rules (Or Guide to Good Grammar)

  1. You talk American good, Neal!

  2. Aw man … that’s good stuff!

  3. You lost me on no. 18. That rule is positively, sublinely stupid!

    You of course know that the rule originated because in Latin you can’t split infinitives by the very nature of the language. This rule was then imported into English were you can split infinitives. Why a gramarical quirk of Latin should dictate how to speak and write English is beyond me. That a couple of talentless idiots decided to create this bit of pure crap a few centuries ago is no reason for anyone to pay attention today.

    Pierre

  4. Pssst, Neal. (It’s grammAr.) ;).

    And I love splitting infinitives. I mock you #18 with my split infitives!!

  5. Egad, Rose! So it is Grammar! I must fix that. That post has been up there for quite awhile and no one ever noticed.

    Now, do tell me what is an infitive????

  6. ….hello there! would you mind to post my name as a sign of my registration?.. please….

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