Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
— Nikita Khrushchev
Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.
— Rudyard Kipling
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
— Will Rogers
It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.
— Malcom Forbes
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
— Andy Rooney
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
— Kurt Vonnegut