Tag Archives: Humor

National Unity

Found floating around in that great ocean of electrons commonly known as The Internet.

The election is over,
The results are known.
The will of the people
Has clearly been shown.
Let’s forget the quarrels
And show by our deeds.
We will give our leader
All the help that he needs.
So let’s all get together
And let bitterness pass,
I’ll hug your elephant
And you kiss my ass.

Quotable

I haven’t done this for awhile.  And it’s great fun shuffling through all the amazing quotations out there, picking a few here and there that peak my interest.

“To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.”
— Albert Einstein

“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”
Ellen Goodman (Journalist)

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.”
— Albert Einstein

“You’re never too old to become younger.”
— Mae West

“I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on disk somewhere.”
Unknown

“Forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure.”
— The Bible

In Memory Of Randy Pausch

“If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.”

On a September day last fall, professor of Computer Science Randy Pausch gave his final lecture to his students and colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University.  You see, Randy Pausch had only months to live and wanted to share his dreams and passion with those he cared most about.  That lecture, “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” was delivered on September 18, 2007 in an auditorium at CMU.  If you’d like to see and hear what Randy has to say, click the video below.  Be prepared for an hour of both smiles and tears.

I never met Randy Pausch, but I’m amazed and inspired by his words of passion and love.  My son, Josh, was on campus at the time and a part of the community that he loved.  And, as so many who teach do, his subject area was computer science, but he taught of joy, life, and dreams.

Randy Pausch died at age 47 on July 25, 2008.  His spirit remains alive through all he reached.

And More Quotes

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
— Nikita Khrushchev

Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.
— Rudyard Kipling

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
— Will Rogers

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.
— Malcom Forbes

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
— Andy Rooney

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
— Kurt Vonnegut

Existential Question

The graphic shown below displays one of the greatest existential and philosophical paradoxes known to man. Don’t you think so?

Or do you really know what it’s all about?

An American View

Let’s move from President Bush being the worst President ever to another world perspective. Take a look at the linked map, entitled The World According to Americans.

What connection might be made between this map and our current “sitting President”, the man they call “W”?

Grammatical Rules (Or Guide to Good Grammar)

Blogging is all about good grammar and language. So to provide a service to my fellow bloggers (and you know who you are), I offer the following for your thoughtful, but careful consideration.

Some of my readers are teachers. You know who you are. Please feel free to copy these rules for classroom distribution and/or use. You don’t have to pay me nuthin’

  1. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
  2. Just between you and I case is important.
  3. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  4. Watch out for irregular verbs which have crope into our language.
  5. Don’t use no double negatives.
  6. A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.
  7. When dangling, don’t use participles.
  8. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
  9. Don’t write a run-on sentence you have to punctuate it.
  10. About sentence fragments.
  11. In a letter themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
  12. Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary.
  13. Its very important that you use apostrophe’s right.
  14. Don’t abbrev.
  15. Check to see if you have any words out.
  16. As far as incomplete constructions, they are wrong.
  17. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
  18. It is important to never ever under any circumstances split an infinitive.
  19. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
  20. The active voice is preferred.
  21. Use of the passive voice is to be avoided.
  22. Eschew obfuscation.
  23. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.