Category Archives: Humor

Dr. Seuss

I was reminded of the joy of the words of Dr. Seuss the other morning, when my teen daughter came downstairs wearing a t-shirt with one of his quotes.  It’s been too many days now, I couldn’t tell you the quote without asking her to produce the shirt for me to read.

When my children were young, I read Doctor Seuss books to them all the time.  Over and over, as children love the repetition.  I’m certain I enjoyed the words and the experience of reading as much as my kids did, as the author was positive, witty, and inspiring.  Valuable words for both young and old.

Let me share some of his good words:

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

“Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”

“And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!”

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”

“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.” (one of my favorites)

If you have any thoughts
Or words you would share
Just add them to comments
Just add them right there

National Unity

Found floating around in that great ocean of electrons commonly known as The Internet.

The election is over,
The results are known.
The will of the people
Has clearly been shown.
Let’s forget the quarrels
And show by our deeds.
We will give our leader
All the help that he needs.
So let’s all get together
And let bitterness pass,
I’ll hug your elephant
And you kiss my ass.

Quotable

I haven’t done this for awhile.  And it’s great fun shuffling through all the amazing quotations out there, picking a few here and there that peak my interest.

“To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.”
— Albert Einstein

“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”
Ellen Goodman (Journalist)

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.”
— Albert Einstein

“You’re never too old to become younger.”
— Mae West

“I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on disk somewhere.”
Unknown

“Forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure.”
— The Bible

Break Time

Summer time, and the livin’ is easy…”

So goes the song from the musical Porgy and Bess.  The weather is warm, the swimming pool is comfortable, the evenings on the deck are pleasant.

Yes, summer in Ohio. Life is good!

I need a break.  Time and space to clear my mind, refresh my soul, and lose the stress in my body.

I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes, first found on a t-shirt while on vacation about twenty years ago in Nags Head, North Carolina.  The restaurant was towards the south and named Sam and Omies.  It’s still there and they have a web site now.  I haven’t been there in many a moon, so I’ll make no recommendations.

But I digress.  Here’s the quote found on that long since worn-out t-shirt:

“Everyone ought to believe in something, I believe I will go fishing.”

And More Quotes

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
— Nikita Khrushchev

Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.
— Rudyard Kipling

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
— Will Rogers

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.
— Malcom Forbes

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
— Andy Rooney

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
— Kurt Vonnegut

Existential Question

The graphic shown below displays one of the greatest existential and philosophical paradoxes known to man. Don’t you think so?

Or do you really know what it’s all about?

Quotable

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.”
— Albert Einstein

“It is well that war is so terrible – otherwise we would grow too fond of it.”
— General Robert E. Lee

“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
— George Orwell

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
— Billy Crystal

Proof, Once Again

A young guy walks into a Dallas bank and steps up to a teller to cash a check. At this juncture, everything is normal. Only the check is Texas-style big, as in the amount of $360 billion dollars ($360,000,000,000). Not made out to the current holder of the check, of course.

This enterprising young man then claims the check is from his girlfriend’s mother as an offer to help him start a record company.

Soon after, police are involved and there allegations and charges of forgery, weapons, and not surprisingly possession of the evil, foul, scourge of America, marijuana.

If you wish, you may read all about it in the Dallas Morning News.

$360 billion to start a record company? Those are some expensive records, I’d say.

Proof once again, that there are some really stupid people in the world.

An American View

Let’s move from President Bush being the worst President ever to another world perspective. Take a look at the linked map, entitled The World According to Americans.

What connection might be made between this map and our current “sitting President”, the man they call “W”?

Quotable for Spring

In honor of the opening of the baseball season, I offer a series of baseball related quotes.

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.
— Yogi Berra (1925 – )

Baseball is a skilled game. It’s America’s game — it, and high taxes.
— Will Rogers (1879 – 1935)

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
— H. L. Mencken (1880 – 1956)

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.
— George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950)

If the fans don’t wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop ’em.
— Yogi Berra (1925 – )

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
— Dave Barry (1947 – )